question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
