Rock
Scissors
Fuck
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
This girl is more easily done than said...
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
