it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
