your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize