Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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