So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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