and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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