Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
