seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I'm just crazy horny about you
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
