I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
i out mim tonsoeep
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