wake up i wanna do it froggy style
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
