And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
