Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
