i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
