I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
where are my eyebrows?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
