what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize
