My friends, they love my intelligence
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize