Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
