no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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