id be glad to
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
did i walk over a car last night?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
