Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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