I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
