So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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