just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Randomize
