I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Randomize
