This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Randomize
