If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Randomize
