i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
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