i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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