fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Don't tell me you're on acid again
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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