I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
how does that bad decision feel?
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