so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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