belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
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