OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Randomize
