it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize