Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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