if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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