I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Still dying that you shit outside
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Randomize
