I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
