Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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