At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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