The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
now i know why i became what i already was.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
