Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
