I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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