Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize