I'm going to jail i love you
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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