Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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