I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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