If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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