Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
is it fun? or sober?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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