She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
