We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
