I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize