you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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