please come you make the beer taste better
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Randomize
