morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Randomize
