uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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