Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
