And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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