somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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