I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Randomize
