Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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