i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
