There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
