after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Randomize
