Do you still have your period?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
