I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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