wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize