You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Randomize
